The Hairy Inadequate Assistant

Being "Not Mommy"

My son made the incredible step this weekend of being able to recognize people. At only 4 weeks of age, I feel this is a real acheivement. In fact, he can recognize two people: mommy and not mommy.

I am a "not mommy", joining my in-laws, the appliance service technician and all other creatures living or simulated. Not mommies are unsatisfactory to my son. Not really what he wants to see or hear. But mommy gets a smile of recognition every time. Not that I am bitter, mommy earned her smiles. It's just interesting to me that infant children seem most comfortable in absolutes. No shades of grey in love, hunger, happiness, or their opposites.

So here is another example of the biological superiority of women: they have a physical, primordial connections with their offspring (in addition to bearing them). Is it any wonder why the men needed their sweat-lodges? But that question is for another post.

The Miraculous Dr. Lei

So I am probably voilating a blogger law, but I want to tell a story that took place back a few months, while my wife was pregnant. At about 36 weeks, she was told (no loger proper to say: we were told) that our baby was in a breech position. Not good. Less than 5% of babies turn on their own from that stage in the pregnancy. You can have external manipulations where a physician forceably turns the baby upside down by pushing on the mother's belly. Hard pushing. We didn't want it, but the breech is dangerous. Enter Dr. Lei.

Dr. Lei was recommended to us by an earthy massage therapist here in Raleigh. She is the real deal for chinese medicine and accupuncture in the Triangle. So my wife went to see if accupunture could turn our disoriented baby. In his defense, I have a terrible sense of direction, so he comes by it honestly.

Dr. Lei examined my wife and said simply: "Good energy. You lie down." She then inserted one needle into each pinky toe, one needle in each shin, and one on top of her head. And she walked out. Within seconds the baby was squirming violently and then stopped. Dr. Lei returned, twisted the needles and walked out. And the baby squirmed again. After several tries, Dr. Lei was satisfied, and she gave us incense to burn by my wife's feet.

Two days later and ultrasound revealed the baby had turned. A miracle to everyone...except Dr. Lei.

From 2 to 3

2 = misery

3 = salvation

Feeding cycles are the life blood of early childcare. If you are living on the 2 hour cycle, you are basically on the job 24 hours a day. Just ask my wife! A few times we have had a 3 hour cycle, and we have lived trembling in fear of the 2 hour wail. With 2 hours, you have time to change them, feed them, burp them, soothe them, and put them down for 40 minutes or so. And then start all over again. The 40 minutes is actually a cruel hoax of a rest period. You just get to feeling back to rights and relaxed only to be back in the soothing business. This is a tough road.

4 weeks at it this Friday. And my birthday is right around the corner. All I want this year is to get from 2 to 3. Hours that is!